So, how did the word of the engagement get out in the past?

As far back as the 12th century, the traditional method for announcing an engagement in England was to proclaim or publish the news at the local church for three consecutive Sundays. This was called "bid the banns," - a standard practice in the 19th century. It still goes on today. The point of this custom during early times was to ensure that anyone who contested the wedding would come forward -- or forever hold their peace.

Engagement notices weren't published in newspapers until the late 19th century. The first English newspaper was issued in London in 1622. Newspapers were heavily taxed in England until the 1860's - including the advertising, size, and paper amount!. (The Knowledge Tax) The newspaper format as we know it today became widespread after the 1860's.

The preferred method was Word of Mouth. But, even if news of an upcoming wedding was told person to person, by word of mouth, there were unspoken rules. According to our old etiquette books, only the bride's family could announce the engagement. The groom could not even tell his best friend until the bride's family had spoken!

In "better society" of the Victorian era and through the first half of the 20th Century, the announcement had to give the appearance of "leaking out."

This was done with some theatricality - to generate interest in the upcoming event and to honor the importance of starting a new phase of life for both the couple and the parents. We've dubbed this process High Gossip. But in days past it was known as Talk of the Town.

After the young man asked a young woman for her hand -- and asked the father too -- the bride's family decided how to announce the big event to the world. Contrary to modern practice of having a party to celebrate the engagement, the first engagement parties were held with the sole purpose of announcing the wedding.

Intimate friends and relatives of the couple were invited to a dinner party -- really an engagement party. The couple, of course, were at the party too. Everyone is supposed to think this is just a regular dinner party. Then, when the timing feels right, the engagement is casually brought up during the evening's conversation,. The announcement is made by the father, older brother and sometimes, the mother of the bride. We can imagine the room falling silent and then erupting with surprise and delight. The couple then mingle among the guests, and modestly receive their good wishes and congratulations.

After the engagement party, this intimate circle then lets other friends and members of the community in on all the details. The news was imparted by the intimates with great flourish. You can just imagine the bride's girlfriends relishing their position as bearers of the news. A season of parties began for sophisticated couples. The families of both the bride and groom - as well as the circle of friends from both groups - would join together in a social whirl - to integrate the circles for a lifetime of social interaction.

The upcoming wedding was sure to be the Talk of the Town.